This is the first draft of the Prologue and Chapter 1 of my follow-up book on the ‘Possible Self’ psychological concept. I did my research project on it in 1997 and wrote the book in 1998. There’s been some exciting research done on it recently, so it seemed right to write a follow-up to my first book.
Prologue: Revisiting the possible self
When I first wrote ‘How to be your Possible Self’ in 1998, I aimed to introduce readers to a powerful concept—that our visions of who we might become shape who we are today and guide our future growth. The notion of ‘possible selves’, those imagined future identities we hope for or fear, resonated with many who longed to author their own life stories with greater intention.
In the years since the book’s publication, I’ve been moved by the responses from readers around the world. Their stories of expanded possibilities, of overcoming limiting beliefs to embrace new versions of themselves, affirmed the transformational potential of this mental framework. At the same time, the complex dynamics they shared—of possible selves evolving over the lifespan, shaped by gender, family, and socioeconomic contexts—underscored the need for deeper exploration.
Alongside readers’ experiences, emerging research has shed new light on the nature and impact of possible selves. We now have a fuller picture of how these self-conceptions develop from adolescence through late adulthood, influencing identity, motivation, and mental health at each life stage. Studies highlight the ways social identities and environments constrain or expand the selves we envision. And critically, we see mounting evidence of the power of deliberately crafting our possible selves to enhance well-being and drive personal growth.
In the chapters ahead, I invite you to join me in revisiting and building upon the core ideas of ‘How to be your Possible Self’. We’ll integrate cutting-edge findings to paint a vivid portrait of this evolving, context-dependent, and profoundly impacting aspect of the self-concept. And crucially, we’ll translate these insights into concrete strategies for envisioning and pursuing the selves we most aspire to be.
Whether you’re a long-time reader or new to these ideas, I hope this book serves as a catalyst for your own self-authorship journey. By thoughtfully defining the future identities you hope for, and those you seek to avoid, you gain both meaning in the present and motivation for the path ahead. With deepened self-awareness and proven practices, you can leverage your possible selves to become your best self. Let’s begin.
Chapter 1: The evolving nature of possible selves
At the heart of the ‘possible self’ concept is a recognition that our imagined futures are not fixed, but fluid—evolving across the lifespan as we grow and our contexts change. From adolescence through late adulthood, the selves we envision reflect our shifting developmental priorities, life roles, and environments. By understanding these dynamics, we gain insight into our own self-development and tools to intentionally update our possible selves over time.
Possible selves in adolescence: Exploring identity
Adolescence marks a critical period for ‘possible self’ formation, as teens begin to actively explore who they are and who they might become. Alongside bodily changes and cognitive developments, social experiences expand, prompting reflection on future academic, career, relational, and lifestyle possibilities.
As adolescents try on different identities, their possible selves tend to be varied, idealistic and occasionally even contradictory. A teen might imagine herself as a future doctor and Olympic athlete, fantasise about fame as a rock star, and fear becoming homeless or addicted to drugs. These diverse ‘selves’ serve an important function, allowing young people to ‘test out’ potential paths without committing to them prematurely.
The specificity and salience of adolescents’ possible selves predict motivation and guide behaviour, for better or worse. Clearly-envisioned ‘selves’ act as a compass, providing direction and incentive in the present. A teen who vividly pictures himself succeeding at uni, for instance, is more likely to study diligently. Conversely, one with a powerful feared ‘self’ of becoming overweight might restrict eating in unhealthy ways.
Here’s a simple exercise to get in touch with your adolescent ‘possible selves’:
Close your eyes and think back to your teenage years. What future identities most captivated your imagination at that time?
Perhaps you dreamed of becoming an elite athlete, a successful entrepreneur, a beloved teacher, a world traveller. You may have fantasised about fame and fortune or pictured yourself living a quiet, contented family life. And no doubt you harboured fears as well—of failure, loneliness, addiction, or disappointing others.
Hold these different ‘selves’ in your mind’s eye. Notice their vividness, their emotional charge. Can you sense how they might have influenced your choices and actions, consciously or not?
Reflecting on these adolescent ‘possible selves’, both hoped-for and feared, can offer valuable insight into your enduring values, aspirations, and anxieties. You may spot themes that continue to guide you today or recognise past selves you’ve long since outgrown. This awareness sets the stage for more intentionally evolving your possible selves going forward.
Identity capital and possible selves in emerging adulthood
As adolescents move into emerging adulthood, typically spanning the late teens to mid-20s, their possible selves continue to evolve. While this stage still involves identity exploration, it’s characterised by an increasing focus on making firm choices—what psychologists call ‘identity capital’ investments.
Identity capital refers to the self-definitions, capabilities, and resources we accrue that support a stable adult identity. It includes tangible assets like educational qualifications and socially valued skills, as well as intangible resources like self-confidence, social networks, and goal-directedness.
‘Possible selves’ play a key role in motivating identity capital acquisition. Clear, compelling visions of hoped-for future identities spur emerging adults to develop the assets needed to realise them. A vivid ‘possible self’ as a marine biologist, for example, might drive a uni student to excel in their coursework, secure relevant internships, and cultivate a professional network.
Conversely, emerging adults with hazy or uninspiring ‘possible selves’ may drift through this pivotal period, their identity capital not anchored to a guiding vision. They might dabble in studies and work without commitment, struggle to articulate meaningful aspirations, and feel anxious about their futures.
Of course, socioeconomic and cultural factors profoundly shape the identity capital opportunities available to different emerging adults. Those from affluent backgrounds often have a head start, with family resources and social connections supporting their ‘possible self’ development. Marginalised young people may face barriers to education, employment, and other identity capital building blocks, constraining their sense of future possibility.
Still, research suggests that ‘possible selves’ can act as a protective factor for disadvantaged emerging adults. Those who cultivate vivid, motivating future identities linked to specific plans and strategies are more resilient in the face of structural obstacles. By keeping their hoped-for selves salient, they can persist in pursuit of identity capital despite the odds.
Leveraging possible selves in emerging adulthood
To tap the motivational power of possible selves in your own emerging adulthood (or guide the young people in your life), try this reflective exercise:
Envision yourself ten years from now, living your ideal life. What valued identities are central to this hoped-for self? Perhaps you imagine being a skilled professional in a particular field, a devoted parent or partner, an adventurous world traveller, a pillar of your community.
For each key identity, brainstorm the identity capital ‘building blocks’ you need to acquire. If you aspire to be an environmental scientist who has some impact on their profession or on the world, for example, these might include:
- A postgraduate degree from a leading university
- Expertise in cutting-edge sustainability technologies
- A track record of eco-conscious volunteer work and internships
- Relationships with mentors and colleagues in the field
- Confidence in your abilities and sense of purpose
Now, work backwards to identify steps you can start taking to accrue these identity assets. Research relevant degree programmes and funding options. Seek out volunteer opportunities aligned with your values. Attend professional events and introduce yourself to potential mentors.
The clearer and more specific your possible self-identity capital links, the more power they have to guide your choices and actions. By tangibly connecting your hoped-for identities to your day-to-day behaviours, you can channel your future visions into present realities.
Balancing identity commitments and flexibility in adulthood
As emerging adults crystallise into more established adult identities, their possible selves tend to narrow and stabilise. With growing identity commitments—to careers, relationships, families, communities—the imagined futures we entertain become more tightly tethered to our current realities.
This is a natural, even necessary, part of healthy adult development. Focusing our ‘possible selves’ lends our lives continuity and coherence, allowing us to pursue chosen paths with dedication and depth. If we continually contemplated radically different futures, we’d struggle to invest in any meaningfully.
Yet there’s a risk of foreclosing our sense of possibility too rigidly. Clinging to a fixed vision of our future selves can leave us ill-equipped to adapt when life circumstances change. What happens when the career we’ve single-mindedly pursued loses its lustre or the relationship we’ve staked our identity on unravels?
Cultivating a flexible sense of possible selves can help us navigate these challenges. By staying open to alternative future identities alongside our primary commitments, we maintain a wider repertoire of adaptational resources. If one ‘possible self’ pathway closes, we have others to draw upon for resilience and reinvention.
How might you strike this balance of commitment and flexibility? One approach is to regularly reflect on your ‘possible selves’ and intentionally update them:
Set aside time each year (on your birthday, New Year’s Day, or another meaningful marker) to envision your ideal life five or ten years ahead. Notice how your hoped-for identities have evolved and consider what still feels vital.
Have your priorities shifted? Are there emerging interests, values, or talents you want to incorporate into your future self-conceptions? Is it time to retire an old dream to make space for a new possibility?
Allow yourself to dream expansively, unbound by current constraints. Then assess how you might realistically move towards these revised possible selves. What identity capital investments could you start making, even at a modest scale? How might you begin to pivot your story?
Actively engage with identity mentors—people living versions of your hoped-for selves who can model next steps. Seek out new learning opportunities and experiences that stretch your sense of what’s possible.
The key is staying anchored in your commitments while remaining open to growth and change. By continuing to evolve your possible selves alongside your concrete identity investments, you’ll cultivate the adaptability to thrive in an unpredictable world.
Redefining possible selves in late adulthood
As we enter late adulthood, our ‘possible selves’ face a new set of challenges and opportunities. With retirement, changes in health and physical functioning, and the loss of loved ones, our imagined futures often need to be radically redefined.
At the same time, later life can offer newfound freedom to explore long-deferred dreams and try on fresh possible selves. Freed from the pressures of early adulthood and the responsibilities of middle age, we may discover untapped potential and possibilities.
Research suggests that cultivating diverse, growth-oriented ‘possible selves’ is essential for well-being and resilience in old age. Older adults who envision multiple positive future identities—as learners, creators, adventurers, contributors—report higher life satisfaction and a stronger sense of purpose.
Importantly, these ‘possible selves’ need not be grandiose or far-fetched. Simply imagining ourselves maintaining cherished roles and relationships, continuing to learn and create at whatever scale, or savouring small pleasures can imbue later life with hope and meaning.
Of course, as we age, our feared ‘possible selves’ often loom larger—of illness, isolation, dependency, decline. While it’s natural to harbour these anxieties, dwelling on them can become self-fulfilling.
Instead, we can consciously amplify our positive ‘possible selves’ to build resilience and agency. Envisioning ourselves coping with challenges, growing around limitations, and finding joy and connection at every stage can help us navigate later life with grace.
This late-life ‘possible self’ inventory offers a starting point:
Imagine yourself on your 90th birthday, surrounded by loved ones. What would you want them to say about the life you’ve lived since turning 70? What qualities, accomplishments, and experiences would make you feel most proud and fulfilled?
Now pinpoint 5-7 key identities your ideal older self embodies. Perhaps you envision yourself as a loving matriarch or patriarch, a wise elder, a creative spirit, a lifelong learner, a generous mentor, a spiritual seeker, a joyful adventurer.
For each identity, brainstorm some specific action steps you could take to start evolving in that direction. If you want to be known as a master storyteller, for example, you might join a local writers’ group, start penning your memoirs, or take a storytelling workshop.
Look for small ways to engage your desired identities each day—sharing your hard-earned wisdom with a younger colleague, trying a new creative hobby, planning a meaningful travel experience.
Stay attuned to how your possible selves shift with your changing circumstances. If a health challenge limits one ‘possible self’ path, allow yourself to grieve that loss—then channel your energy into an alternative self you can still wholeheartedly pursue.
By staying intentional about your ‘possible selves’ even (and perhaps especially) in life’s final chapters, you’ll tap deep sources of vitality and resilience. You’ll be equipped to find purpose and possibility at every age.
Continual evolution: The key to actualising our best selves
As we’ve seen, our possible selves are not static sculptures but living works of art—shaped by our changing life stages, contexts, and choices. To become our best selves, we must continually evolve our self-conceptions, expanding and refining them in alignment with our growth.
This is a lifelong endeavour, an iterative process of imagining, pursuing, evaluating and re-imagining our most valued future identities. Each developmental stage invites us to take stock of our current ‘possible selves’—to assess their fit and feasibility, to stretch ourselves towards novel possibilities, to relinquish selves we’ve outgrown.
When we approach our ‘possible selves’ not as fixed destinations but as dynamic visions to explore, we stay open to unimagined potentials. We become the active authors of our own stories, writing and revising our future identities with intentionality and care.
The chapters ahead offer a roadmap for this vital ongoing work. We’ll examine how our ‘possible selves’ are shaped by key factors like gender, family dynamics, and socioeconomic conditions—and how we can transcend limiting influences. We’ll explore targeted strategies for enhancing motivation, well-being and performance by leveraging the science of possible selves.
My hope is that you’ll wield these insights and tools to continually expand your own sense of possibility—to envision and grow into your most authentic, adaptive, inspiring future self. With a commitment to lifelong ‘possible self’ evolution, you’ll be poised to actualise your fullest potential in any chapter of life.
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